i feel disgusting

honestly i feel disgusting. im tired of my life being ruined. im completely fucking done with this i swear to god.

i just want to die, i don’t want to go on like this any longer. i just want to put a bullet thru my head or something because this is getting to be too much for me.

there is nothing more disorienting than coming back and the kid was talking to one of my friends for two fucking hours and the little mermaid is playing.

out of everything that’s happened thus far, somehow this is the most disorienting yet. i don’t know why. maybe because i’ve spent most of my life avoiding childish shit only to constantly have it shoved in my face now.

hoodoo put a disgusting picture of me on the fridge, good. hopefully it will keep us from indulging and we can finally lose some weight, especially before elias’ visit…

he shouldn’t have to see me like this.

i want to die. fuck.