depression is super bad right now

Guess we have a new old journal… don’t know when I think Elias gave it to us.

I’m nervous to even be writing in here, but i guess that’s the only resort we have left.

Depression is super bad right now. not sure what to do. everything seems hopeless. I think our sickness and dizziness is being caused by keeping things inside. We have gone back to our old eating disorder ways - just can’t help it. I think it is that feeling of being trapped. and not in control of anything.

but the feeling that we should at least be able to control what goes in our body. Lyn kind of encourages it too, so we are trying not to talk to her about it. It’s so unhealthy … I wish we didn’t feel the need to do stuff like this. Better than dying, I guess.