dont feel like its worth the fight

lately i been thinkin a lot about death + suicide. i wonder if it would be better if i was dead. it would be less exhaustin for sure. alot of days lately it dont feel like its worth the fight. the fatigue is just so fukin bad.

i read online that death can be peaceful. people who have near death experiences, dont want to wake up. like, death is like wakin up from a long dream… well, we will experience it one day. maybe im scared of sufferin before death. that lack of control… i can see why euthanasia is a mercy for some people. but for someone who is just lost + tired of life? maybe not… i dunno. it’s weird to think about.