Movies and Tv on needing.space

first day working at the hospital

Mon, 12 Jan 2026 11:00:00 -0600

man... today was a LOT. this week they have orientation for the new hospital i'm working at. i got a job as a mental health technician which i am really looking forward to. the first few days are 8-4 basically just "classroom", like today was the "everyone talks at you and does PPT stuff" day and tomorrow is the "thousands of computer modules" day. then later in the week they literally give me combat training to figure out how to defend myself i guess? and restraining too if i need to.

chaos

Wed, 31 Dec 2025 11:00:00 -0600

today was so chaotic

2 hours of sleep
wake up at 7:30am
40min drive to New workplace
piss test number 1 at new workplace/pre employment
inform employer im on a stimulant for ADHD that might come back positive, they say they don’t care
pre employment paperwork
blood work to prove I had childhood vaccinations for work, had to take from both arms
drive back home 40min
fight with removing old visor and installing new one in car, an especially difficult task
find that my BFF and Elias both had late gifts for me that came in - cute purse and loose legos
put external hard drive files to transfer to server
drive Elias & I to new psych - 1hr10min
do more new hire paperwork from phone including background check stuff, put in my GED and not my college
drive to Walmart to buy a small desk at Walmart for the computer in living room (only about 5min)
hurry and drive back for my own appointment
piss test number 2 (yes probably first and last piss test combo during one day for different people) because psych/stimulants
talk to doctor
go out for kaitenzushi sushi to relax and celebrate job - 1.5hr drive
realize that background check probably wanted my college even though job only requires/asks for GED, just so it matches my resume on file
look at transcript, realize my moronic old college fucked up my transfer and background check will likely come back as degree unearned
send a text to HR giving them a heads up/explaining situation
spend the rest of night being anxious about it
go to claw machine only arcade
win a kuromi plushie
drive back home, 2hr drive
surprisingly got home in one piece despite multiple people trying to cause crashes likely because it’s the night before New Year’s Eve
the download/transfer didn’t work because it paused on transferring… a virus? for some reason I backed up quarantined viruses from 2016 on my external I need to delete them hahaha
still dwelling on anxiety, put together desk for distraction
realize I got an email an hour after the first email, saying I had passed background check… less anxious but still somewhat anxious
look up rules on how to fix it and get my degree awarded/sent
update brother and friends podcast website
work on transcribing some old journals
realize I have therapy tomorrow, worlds largest sigh
veg out in front of TV until 2:30am

and yes that means I drove almost 6 hours today

another job offer (mental health tech)

Mon, 22 Dec 2025 11:00:00 -0600

so, I got another job offer. and the offer letter is signed & accepted which is nice. they do have mandatory drug testing which is kinda like duh for this type of position

it is a mental health technician at a local(ish) inpatient hospital. it is locked down, but it is part of a bigger hospital system/not a standalone. I will be working PRN/scheduling myself 3 days a week, 12 hour shifts 7am to 7pm. I am allowed to take more hours if I want. the pay isn’t great but that’s fine because I have really really been wanting to get into mental health.

I quit Dominos

Thu, 16 Oct 2025 12:00:00 -0500

I quit dominos halfway through the shift. Absolutely fuck that shit. My life is too short and valuable to spend it like that.

- first day at dominos
- come into the store at 5pm
- "hey I scheduled you until 12, is that ok?" it is but uhh yeah...
- brought to the tiny office, told that I need to fill out new hire paperwork ON MY OWN TIME. the audacity. I've never had a job do this, even McDonalds.
- manager doesn't go over literally anything. doesn't even show me how to clock in and out. doesn't go over all the other new hire stuff I would expect either. literally just takes my license, gives me a shirt and hat, and shoves me with some other guy
- "we called in someone for today to train you"
- i was expecting actual training modules on a computer but ok
- guy is absolutely awful at training. goes to show that being good at the job doesn't mean you're good at teaching it
- takes 5 minutes to show me around the store, goes on a single run with me, then leaves (it was his day off!!)
- guy tells me literally everyone working today only has been there a few months
- I'm left on my own to figure literally everything else out
- not even sure who the manager is
- whoever the manager is is also dropping the ball, doesn't tell me to go on breaks or lunch at appropriate times
- as per usual, female coworkers are super chill, the few dudes in there have the worlds largest attitude
- other coworker mentioned "we get 30 cents per mile", I was told 77 in interview
- 30 cents per mile won't even cover my gas and car maintenance
- only get paid $5 (!!!) an hour when on a delivery, then $9 in store (which should be illegal in 2025 ngl. both the tipping loophole and $9/hr)
- they assume you'll make it up in tips
- no one fucking tips. like maybe $2-3 per delivery if I'm lucky, and these are on $40+ orders
- sign on the wall says "NO FREE FOOD FOR WORKERS, NO EXCEPTIONS" which kinda is in line with how cheap they have been, also against franchise rules because anyone working a full shift is supposed to get a lunch
- despite this, see food on the table in the back that's being eaten by group (of course, I am not informed about it)
- expected to wash dishes when no deliveries, but I have eczema on my hands and it's tearing up my hands
- night shift, so people arent paying as much attention, almost get into a few wrecks already
- personally am drained from my medical treatment earlier in the day so I am also low on energy and recognize that it's unsafe for me to be driving
- everyone else is shocked that I am full time, everyone there is part time and says they wouldn't want to work FT
- they wanted me to CLOSE THE STORE MYSELF on my first day. as in, I would be the only driver and then one other person up front closing.
- my manager (whoever that is) doesn't even tell me this
- this place is clearly a shit show
- on top of that all the customers are rude as fuck, probably because rural Texas
- realize literally any other way to spend my life would be preferable to working another 10 minutes there, and that being homeless would be preferable too.
- take their stupid sign off the top of my car, leave it outside, put the cash in the cash box, text the person who hired me a nice "I quit" message informing her of the equipment and cash, telling her to send my check to the address on file
- I would be totally fine with them not even paying me, I'll take whatever few tips I got and call it a wash.

two interviews today

Tue, 05 Aug 2025 12:00:00 -0500

Dental interview tl;dr

The dentist recognized me right away which is really funny. I must have some kind of way about me that people recognize me, because I haven’t been back in like a little over a year. The front desk lady said that I have a really positive vibe and seem fun to be around so it makes sense to her.
I interviewed with the practice manager whom I had already met before haha.
Seems to have the same vibe as the vet industry. That is to say, sometimes it’s slow, sometimes it’s fast paced, doesn’t pay well, but you are making a difference.
There is some opportunity for advancement; they pay for you to become registered except for the exam fee. They also pay for all the classes for any follow up training if you want to get certified further.
Interview mostly focused on like, how do you deal with stress, how do you deal with people being snippy. Which to me tells me that there can be stressful situations. She said it’s fairly rare, but they do have really busy times of the year where everyone is burnt out.
This is a small town, so there’s only a few people working there. 2 at the front desk, 3 dental assistants, her (practice manager), and the dentist.
She’s only been working there two years, she got promoted to practice manager in less than a year.
She said that there isn’t a whole lot of turnover, and the people who do leave typically do so to continue schooling.
She asked about my availability for a follow-up interview on Thursday because likely going to get an offer, just depends on whether or not I actually want to take it. I mean, it seems decent to me. Worst case scenario I go, oh my god, this is awful.
I also set up a cleaning the day before hahaha. Unintentionally going to show them more on my attitude/behavior, but I just really needed to do it because it was overdue anyway.

Second interview tl;dr

the timing of opportunities

Wed, 23 Jul 2025 12:00:00 -0500

something funny is, we have looked for a job pretty aggressively for about a year now with very little luck. we quit our job last monday and without any extra effort have gotten invited for two interviews this week. i think that things do play out the way that they are supposed to. maybe some would argue that we needed to have the courage to quit our job before other opportunities would come in.

the interviews are: mental health advocate at a local hospital and also seems like some kind of project management position at a web design firm. couldn't be more diametrically opposed. one is totally profit oriented, remote, pays a lot more, and likely a lot easier, but less fulfilling. whereas the other is not as profit oriented/more mission based, in person, pays not great, and probably harder but more fulfilling.

i still need to follow up with the local hospital one though as they tried to call and we missed it the other day unfortunately.

i got back in touch with my old friend from those days named amy. ozzy just died, and it made me think about the time that we did this variety show with her. we still have the video and wanted to share it with her. she's still living in the same place and still seems as awesome as she always was. i missed talking to her. i hope that we can keep up with talking more.

it's our brother's birthday today, which i guess means our journal archives are officially 23 years old today. kinda wild. he's got a lot of nostalgic thoughts today, can't say i blame him. considering it's his birthday, talking about amy, and also just sharing older pics with him.

by the way, with regards to transcription of old journals: still working on it. we did manage to scan them all in, but OCR doesn't work because of shit handwriting. i'm going to do my best to keep back adding the entries that i have. we have a big blue journal that was a majority of 2022 and 2023. i think 2024 is mostly missing-ish, unless it's somewhere else that i haven't seen yet.

Now Time To Be Nervous All Week

Mon, 19 May 2025 12:00:00 -0500

Lost my red pen. Ah well.

Looks like we secured an interview next week for Junebrain. It’s at their stand up, with the entire company. Not nerve wracking at all…

Well, I’m sure we will do fine. They are just human beings after all. And if nothing comes of it, that is fine too.

God, I fucked up my right hand wrist, now it hurts to do anything with it, including writing. But our life must be documented.

super grateful for easy days like this

Sat, 10 May 2025 12:00:00 -0500

not much going on this weekend. yesterday we hung out together at walmart and had sushi in corsicana. today, just very sleepy. watched jerma, played video games. easy day.

i am super grateful for easy days like this. cortney sent some pics of soren from vacation. super cute. too cute.

tomorrow is mothers day which is always hard. just going to pretend i don’t know it’s that day. oh well.

Life Is Too Short To Stress Over Stupid Work

Mon, 05 May 2025 12:00:00 -0500

yesterday was the second to last day of our trip.

We went to Oatman first. What a neat little town with some interesting history. It was a gold rush town, but then became a ghost town. After some people decided to revitalize it, it is now a tourist town.

So many donkeys! It was a ton of fun to feed them. Plus, we could look around and see the old jail, etc. There were some really cute tortoises, too. And with so many handmade/local crafts, that is really a town I could see myself spending a lot of money in, if I visited again. Just got touristy stuff this time, though. And randomly, there was a car show in town, so we saw all the cool old cars driving around. A shopkeeper was also talking about how people brought their dogs around the donkeys, which just seems next level stupid to me.

Just A Couple More Seconds

Fri, 25 Apr 2025 12:00:00 -0500

Raven,

We are on vacation right now. I bought this journal in hopes of archiving our life. Pictures are great, but I want to describe my emotions as well. And what better way than this?

I don’t know if we will give you this when we are done. Maybe we will keep it forever to ourselves. But knowing that I am not just tossing words into the void is a good incentive.

upset about work but not showing it

Wed, 29 May 2024 12:00:00 -0500

Of course I am upset about work, but i am going to do my best to not show it. it’s a waste of time to make every one else upset about it.

ASL class

Fri, 26 Apr 2024 12:00:00 -0500

ASL

i'm kind of sad that ASL 101 is done. we also finished through the first 11 lessons of lifeprint, so i guess it's correlating at the same time. next week, all the classes are getting together to have a no-voice dinner. i'm excited about it.

finances

elias and i are still having some disagreements about how finances are going to be handled now that he makes way more than i do -- we will get it figured out eventually, but it's still a bummer that we are having disagreements about it

music

we are watching i-land and it has a way different vibe than produce 101 the girls -- in a way that i like, as in they are focusing more on the music rather than the idol/personality stuff. i like the idol/personality stuff but they spent like 15 minutes on staring contests in the first episode of pd101... kind of unnecessary. i appreciate the brevity of i-land

birthday/events

i can't believe it's almost already halfway through the year. elias told me that he is taking off my birthday week in june and had me take it off too -- i don't know if he has a surprise trip planned or what, but i'll look forward to it

ughhhhh

Fri, 12 Apr 2024 12:00:00 -0500

ASL class was canceled wednesday which made us really depressed. we ordered take-out though. so that helped.

our power went out last night for half the house--happened when i was trying to microwave food. fortunately/unfortunately it was the non-essential but fun stuff that went out (TV, video games) and not the essential but boring stuff (home offices.) so we can still work but we can't play video games or watch TV on the good tv. we have our bedroom tv but it's really tiny and laggy, i want to upgrade it at some point, because 720p is unacceptable in 2024 when 1080p is the standard and can be purchased for really cheap, but it hasn't been a big priority because we don't watch tv in there very often

we just bought solar a month or two back, and whenever we went outside to flip the breakers, the ancient butthead dude from next door came over yelling stuff like WOW YOU REALLY GOT SCAMMED ON SOLAR, DO YOU HAVE TWO BILLS, WHAT ARE YOUR AVERAGE BILLS, YOU MUST BE PAYING A LOT and we were just like. no, it's much cheaper than it was before, it's one bill, and the average is none of your business. we carefully considered our decision and our main reasons were

1. we don't want to pay for electricity for the rest of our lives
2. we actually give a shit about the environment
3. the grid in texas is totally screwed and being off the grid is good for everyone

i didn't explain that to him because he wasn't owed an explanation! but writing all this reminded me to switch over our electric, so i'm good with that

anyway, elias and i both had meltdowns last night, anastasia fronted and helped them out, then we just ended up ordering out again because we don't have groceries, because when i tried to pick them up on tuesday it was ridiculously flooded (they were even blocking areas off) so i had to turn around--see the video i took: [www.youtube.com/shorts/Tq...](https://www.youtube.com/shorts/Tq3N74U3pF0)

had to turn around, couldn't keep going, there's a reason the phrase "turn around don't drown" is so popular in this area of texas

i don't really think much else has happened, i'm not too invested in the electric being out because i can just watch tv in the bedroom or play on the switch which i usually do anyway, but we do need to get it fixed, elias is wanting to use our tax returns to upgrade the system as well, which i don't want to do

so much busy

Fri, 21 Jul 2023 12:00:00 -0500

hey! sorry i'm behind on answering comments - life has been super hectic! i'll try to get to them some time this weekend. thank you for your patience :)

TL;DR updates:

house is in very end stages of closing (signed CD today)
brother randomly got legally married? he was planning on a ceremony but not until september. i guess they wanted to get the legal part out of the way
elias had surgery and it was successful, and he is recovering quickly :)
landlord being landlord by asking to show our house the final 30 days so they want 24/7 access to be able to show it... lol.
my mental/physical health are shit right now but whatevs
work is also being shit
that's about it, see ya

i literally can't hear you please just send me a text or email for the love of god

Sun, 09 Jul 2023 12:00:00 -0500

i forgot to say this in the other entry, but it's probably better to just say in a new entry anyway.

being deaf* is making all this shit like a thousand times more difficult. EVERYONE wants to talk on the phone to figure out this house shit. please just send me an email so i can respond in text!

it's very hard for me to use the phone, so i use an app that auto captions calls in real time for me. also i have bluetooth hearing aids, so i can get the calls right in my ears. but even with accessibility options, the phone is still hard! the captions take a few seconds to show up, add that on top of the slight delay that bluetooth adds and you have a very slow convo which is sometimes with impatient people.

i'm going to just start having Elias field the calls, because this is getting ridiculous. i can only do so much lol.

literally the only advantage i've had is that my phone app saves the transcripts so i can go back and reread them later if i missed something, because i almost always miss something. ugh.

this is somewhat unrelated, but i was talking to Elias about this tonight and will look into it in a minute, but both of us really need to get our asses into gear learning ASL. as far as i know, there aren't many free resources. i want to look and see if there are any free resources specifically for deaf people and their immediate family but haven't had the chance.

it's really not the greatest idea or sustainable to rely on technology forever for communication. especially since my hearing somehow manages to get worse every year. i will eventually not be able to use tech to bridge the gap.

*not profoundly deaf. i have severe hearing loss, but i am able to hear with hearing aids. i can also "kind of" hear without them, but it's akin to a person who needs glasses seeing colored blobs. in context, i know that big green blob is a tree, but it is still a big green blob ultimately. same idea.

i don't call myself hard of hearing anymore because hearing people don't seem to get the severity of my loss. though it's also awkward to call myself deaf, because a lot of Deaf (capital D) people only "count" profoundly deaf as deaf. i'm considered deaf to hearing people, and hearing to Deaf people, so i can't really win. i do call myself hard of hearing if i am in a Deaf community or talking to someone else with hearing loss typically though.

btw i also have a sensory disorder that makes it difficult to understand the words even if i can physically hear them with hearing aids 🎉

weight talk

Wed, 14 Jun 2023 12:00:00 -0500

tw: sexual abuse/trauma, weight, eating disorders

venting about 600lb life

i really shouldn't be watching 600lb life in the throes of an eating disorder relapse but here we are

i have like, a love hate relationship with the show?

i love to see that the show seemingly goes out of its way to portray fat people in a way that seems to humanize them (at first at least.) they make it very clear from the beginning of the show how much their weight affects their ability to live a normal life and that it's primarily caused by trauma. almost everyone on the show has been traumatized at least once, most of them multiple times, many of them sexually abused

HOWEVER, dr now seems to do like, nothing with this information? the people on the show are always in need of some heavy therapy for their PTSD. but he just throws a pamphlet that says LOW CARB, HIGH PROTEIN, 1200 CALORIES A DAY at them and lists fruits and vegetables and to only eat three times a day and expects them to just... bootstraps themselves out of their eating disorder??? thanks it was useless. i would say 80% of people know why they're fat and a VLCD print out isn't going to help that much.

then he gets pissed off at them and blames them for not "wanting it enough" when they inevitably fail because this diet is just a bandaid for the underlying eating disorder? like dude this is the equivalent of printing a big ass smiley face on a piece of paper that says "don't worry, be happy!" and then telling a depressed person to look at it when they are sad and shocked pikachu when they relapse or never make progress in the first place

like, it makes me mad that the first thing that happens isn't immediate therapy. he only makes the people go to therapy like half the time, and usually 6+ months into their weight loss attempt, IF they are in danger of regaining lost weight (god forbid). otherwise he's just like "there's nothing else we can do for you, you don't want this enough"

i get that he wants to put them on VLCD to fix the immediate negative physical ramifications their weight is having, but can't he do that at the same time as therapy? he also only requires (provides?) one session a month. that is not nearly enough for people with trauma this extreme. the show i watched last night, the woman was sexually abused over her entire childhood and early adulthood by multiple unrelated people and incidents. you can't bootstrap yourself out of that!!

and the drive to houston is super problematic and sometimes straight up dangerous. instead of having them make the drive and sometimes move all together, he should really consider having them do local therapy or teletherapy for X sessions first.

ALSO, sometimes he sends over nutritionists. this should 100% be part of onboarding for every single person on the show, or at least be introduced a few months down the line regardless of their progress. most people on the show scoff at it and ignore it, but i saw an episode the other day where that was a major turning point for the lady because she genuinely didn't realize the stuff that she was eating was high calorie. she was extremely receptive (albeit somewhat embarrassed) and switched out all her stuff to low fat (read: low calorie) and... surprise! she started losing weight.

like, i also don't even know if i like that the show airs out all their trauma on live Tv. i'm almost certain it's a requirement to be in the show(and get free weight loss help) but a lot of people are like "i've never trips anyone this before" and now the whole world knows!!!

i feel like the implication is also that you can't be fat unless you have some "reason" to be, like overeating due to trauma. when like, you can have an ED that is not linked to trauma, and you can also be a big eater without trauma, and naturally big.

kinda feels to me like the entire show is dehumanizing and a sideshow type thing where people point and laugh because this person doesn't look like us "healthy" people, under the guise of "health." dr. now can be incredibly cruel and rude to the point of some of the rude things he says becoming memes- "why you eat so much?" with his face is a top selling magnet on red bubble for example. it's the same rhetoric that a lot of online concern trolls pill "i don't care about them eating, i just care about their health!!!!"

as an aside, i heard they pay people to shower on camera so every single episode starts with them showering on camera which is yucky. not yucky because of them showering but yucky because it feels like they paid vulnerable poor people to depict themselves in a way that dehumanizes them, with somehow also having a voice over of them talking about their trauma? and they seem to have no moral quandary about this. the entire show seems predatory to be honest and the time spent talking about their trauma is like 3min at the beginning and then it's instantly buried in the other hour and a half unless it's a direct plot point

dats all. peace

kurtis was really funny except for dean

Fri, 29 Jul 2022 12:00:00 -0500

went to kurtis’ show. it was really funny except for dean. he is such an unfunny asshole. like no one wants to hear your jokes about children’s genitalia and suicide. fucker.

other than that, the day was chill. Neecie is still being a dickhead to Elias but what’s new. i hate her so much and genuinely am glad she’s not my manager, really not looking forward to being promoted if we have her annoying ass to deal with.

finished breaking bad

Wed, 27 Jul 2022 12:00:00 -0500

today was pretty boring. we finished breaking bad which was great, but now we are bored because there’s nothing else to do. we will start better call saul soon, after we watch the brba movie which i haven’t seen yet. i hope it closes out jesse’s story more than brba did. i know the show was more about walt, but i still cared about jesse too.

the next few days will be weird for our routine. we aren’t doing horses this week on Thursday and Friday night we are going to Kurtis’ show. so it will be weird.

Needed A Self-Care Day

Sun, 24 Jul 2022 12:00:00 -0500

Didn’t end up going painting whoops. didn’t feel good enough even though i feel guilty for canceling on florence. i just needed to have a self-care day today.

mostly just slept, not much else to do. just got to the episode where hank confronts walt about being heisenberg and damn it was good. this show is so good.

back to work tomorrow, rip….

metallica dream

Sat, 07 Apr 2012 12:00:00 -0500

i'm leaving soon but i just wanted to write down my dream before i did

lars ulrich (drummer from metallica) and i were really good friends as preteens/teens. it showed a scene of how we met, which was basically my parents (who were together-- wtf?) left me on a dock somewhere and were like WE'LL COME BACK LATER TO GET YOU.

i must have seemed upset because i sat down on the side of the dock alone and looked out into the water and rested my hands in my lap. then little lars (he was my age) came up to me and sat down next to me. i think we were speaking danish? and he said "what's wrong?" and i explained that my parents left. so we talked for some time. for some reason, he asked if i went to bars around here (?? maybe because denmark has a young legal drinking age idefk) and i said no.

so anyway after that there were quick scenes of us becoming good friends and growing up together. then one day he said he had to go to america, and i was still in denmark so i couldn't go with him and for some reason my parents were never around and were poor so. he left, became famous, formed metallica, etc.

fast forward to years later, when i'm like 18 or 19. there were a bunch of girls in a room, and we were all sitting on a circular sofa. everyone was jabbering away. and then i looked up and there was like, a poster for what we were doing? it was a bachelorette type show to win lars ulrich's affections, i think. i don't know if we were supposed to be winning his platonic or romantic affections because for some reason in the entire dream it felt like he was gay, but everyone in the room was a woman.

i was sitting next to sem and holding her hand and it was pretty clear that we were together. a girl i knew from high school named ashley kept taunting me and calling me a slut/whore and finally i got fed up and looked over to her, readjusted myself, and said

"you're lucky."

and she asked why, and i responded

"i would tear you to intellectual shreds, but it would be a total waste of time. judging from your manner of carrying yourself and your uninspired, repetitive insults, someone already got to it before me."

then she shut up. and i think there was a girl who was known for mind reading/having esp because she came up to me with lots of beads and looked like a hippy and was like i CaN ReAd yOuR MiNd! and i responded

"no shit, i'm more open than oprah's legs after a bowl of non-fat ice cream" (???)

so anyway then lars walks in and everyone is just trying to get his affection by being like I HAVE SUCH AND SUCH INTERESTS like they studied him or something and were trying to copy him. it was clear that i didn't really want to be there, but for some reason i wanted to win the game?? probably just because i don't like losing. at the end he walked out and he gave me one last glance before shutting the door and letting everyone start yammering at each other again

and then my alarm clock woke me up

Some H!P Confessions

Tue, 06 Sep 2011 12:00:00 -0500

Out of all the people that have ever been in Morning Musume (not counting JunLin), Tsuji was the most useless. She was just dead weight: she wasn't really talented or cute and only seemed to get any attention because of Kago.

I think they should have put Matsuura Aya in Momusu rather than Fujimoto Miki. Miki never seemed to really enjoy her career in MM... I think she was spoiled by being a soloist first. Fujimoto always seemed to be an ungrateful brat to me, and even though she was one of the best singers MM ever had, she didn't ever show any signs of enjoying herself. Conversely, Matsuura seemed like she would have enjoyed herself a lot in Momusu.

Yossie has lost too much weight. When she first joined, I really liked her. But somewhere along the line, she got in her head that she was "fat", and lost so much weight that she looks like a skeleton. It saddens me to see Gaki going this route lately, too.

Why is everyone going crazy about Miyamoto Karin? She isn't that great.

I think that UFA should stop worrying about finding "Maki Goto Version 2" and start worrying about creating a well rounded group.

Maji Desu Ka Ska musically sucked, but had good line distribution. Only You musically rocked, but had shitty line distribution. Why does Tsunku seem to think that only Reina/Takahashi and MAYBE a little Riho (with a bone thrown to Gaki) can handle 'cool' songs?

I usually hate people who try to 'pair up'/make everyone in H!P lesbians. But statistically, there's a great likelihood that at least a few girls are lesbians... And it seems as if Sayu is. I don't know whether it's a new 'character' she's trying out, but she's been creeping on 9th gen (Riho in particular) ever since they joined... Honestly speaking, it seems a lot more realistic than most of the fabricated implied lesbian relationships in H!P (Matsuura and Fujimoto pops to mind).

I think UFA made a mistake in naming Dream Morning Musume. Would you rather watch ~*~*Dream*~*~ Morning Musume, or boring old vanilla REGULAR Morning Musume? I'm also kind of tired of UFA trying to cash in on nostalgia. But that's a whole different rant.

I didn't start REALLY paying attention to the kids until 2009. I've been a fan since 2002, so I watched as they joined... And were given horrible songs. The first time I noticed them was while watching a Pucchi Best dvd that had recently come out. It had 21ji made no Cinderella on it. I was bored to tears and automatically brushed off the rest of the kids until I started casually following them in 2007 when Tokaikko Junjou came out. I regret not paying attention to them earlier; I missed them growing up because I was too busy being a stubborn ~Morning Musume purist~.

Maki Goto couldn't even begin to grasp the intricacies of "Akai Nikkichou". When they did the shuffle special, it showed her struggling with the tenderness of the song at such a young age. She sang it poorly, and Tsunku chided her-- but the recorded version sounds no different than after he chided her! Proof that she only had the most lines because she was popular.

I feel like there is SO MUCH HATRED in the H!P fandom, and 80% of it is caused by the foreign teenage girls.

blah

Wed, 27 Apr 2011 12:00:00 -0500

The true life episode "I'm Passing As Someone I'm Not" is all sorts of transphobic. The first part of the episode is about a black woman who claims to be costa rican despite not having any costa rican blood whatsoever. She says she does it because being hispanic is "hip" where she lives.

However, the second part of the episode is about someone whose is transgender. Using the theme of the episode, you'd think it was talking about a cross dresser (someone who dressed as a woman despite not identifying as one as all).

However, at the beginning of the episode, Domaine says "I'm a woman trapped in a man's body". That would signify a transgender individual, right? But the entire episode, she says things like she's "deceiving people" and "you don't know the real me". That would suggest that she is just a crossdresser...? Since she is transgender, it's really offensive to say things like "I'm passing as someone i'm not" and "i'm not who you thought i am" the entire episode.

If she was just a crossdresser, it wouldn't be as much of an issue. The problem is, she identifies as a female yet she continues to use language like "I'm not who you thought I am" and "I'm a man".

In the episode, she says she's transgender. Domaine's question answers in this interview show her problematic way of thinking of things. Saying things like "Sooner or later, the world will find out about the real me." (emphasis mine) flat out says that the "real" her is a man. Usually, when one talks about their "real" self, they aren't necessarily talking about their body, they're talking about who they are to the core, especially in the transgender community. When she says "They'll find out about the real me," she's undermining all trans individuals everywhere that struggle to convince people that our gender is the *real* us.

I can understand being nervous about people finding out about having a penis. But the entire episode is filled with problematic language... When coming out, she says "I'm a man. I'm a transgender." The two of those are completely different concepts, and I don't think it's a good idea to make an episode about someone who is confused about terminology.

Also, whoever made that show is super-offensive-man by titling the episode "I'm Passing As Someone I'm Not".

oh wow this is super late

Sat, 08 Jan 2011 11:00:00 -0600

I should check LJ more often. Still doing new years survey thingie. BECAUSE I WANT TO. JEEZ

2010

Name: Nathaniel
Screen name: vanillainfused/magneticdeath
Current location: Watervliet, Michigan
Birth date: 18 June 1990
Sign: Gemini [fuck yeah twins]

2010 In The Beginning......

Where did you ring in the New Year? Home
Who were you with? Think it was just me in 2010
Did you kiss anyone at midnight? ;_; no
Did you make any resolutions? No
If so did you keep them? lol

2010 Your Love Life....

Single/Taken? Taken~
How many relationships did you have? Just the one
How many break ups? None
How many people did you kiss? None

2010 Friends and Enemies......

Did you meet any new friends this year? Not really
Did any of your friendships end? They come and go
Did you dislike anyone? Yep
Did you get into any fights? Yeah
Did you make any new enemies? Dunno, probably not
Did you resolve any fights? Short-term ones
Who was your closest friend? Without a doubt it was/is Julie

2010....The Holidays!

Did you have a Valentine? See above question
Did the Easter bunny visit you? Dad is the easter bunny and he brings Easter chocolate cheer
Did watch fireworks on the 4th of July? No
Did you dress up for Halloween? Yeah, Hannibal. Lazy costume though, just the mask
What did you do for Thanksgiving? Absolutely nothing
Did you receive what you wanted? Didn't really want much haha
Were you good this holiday season? I've been a very naughty boy~ (lol)

2010 Your BIRTHDAY!!!

How old did you turn? 20
Did you have a cake? No
What did you do for your birthday? Went out to eat
Did you have a party? No
Did you get any presents? Couple :D

2010......The Memories and Accomplishments!

Funniest Memory? I can't single one out...
Saddest Memory? Dunno if I've had something bad enough to say 'saddest'. Not like anyone died, right
Most Embarrassing Memory? I hardly get embarrassed anymore lol
Best Accomplishment? Beginning college (does that count), getting myself unafraid of driving, honors GPA

2010.....FAVORITES!

Favorite TV shows? The Office
Favorite songs? Master of Puppets by Metallica (same old same old)
Favorite bands? Metallica, anything H!P
Favorite food? Lasagna. 2010 was year of the lasagna. <3
Favorite stores? I don't shop that much
Favorite restaurants? Any really
Favorite piece of clothing? Bad ass t-shirts (vidya gaems, Metallica)

2010.....All about YOU....

Did you change at all this year? Yes
Did you dye your hair? Highlights
Did you get your hair cut? Yes (need a new one too)
Did you change your style? Yes
Were you in school? Yes
Did you have a job? For like two seconds
Did you drive? Yes!! And it's a huge accomplishment that I finally am not afraid anymore
Did you own a car? Yes, 1994 Mitsubishi Galant (Maroon)
Did you lose anyone this year? No
Did anyone close to you give birth? No
Did you move at all? No
Did you go on any vacations? Lol yeah right
Did you leave the country at all? No
Would you change anything about yourself now? Not really

2010.....Wrap Up.

Was 2010 a good year? Yes
Do you have any regrets? I think I did some stupid things, however, I don't regret because it's best to focus on the future rather than on the past
Did 2010 bring any new insights? Some...
Do you think 2011 will top 2010? Probably not, lol. Wake me up when 2012 rolls around~
Do you have any goals for 2011? Get an iPod touch (lol). Also cram as many classes as I can into each semester so I can get school done and over with
If you could relive any moment which would you choose? Don't really have a particular one
If you could forget any moment what would it be? Quite a few. Depression, arguments, etc.
Do you wish 2010 wouldn't end? No. Then I would *never* graduate
Do you plan to do anything special for NYE 2010? Oops. Didn't do anything anyway, lol

1. What did you do in 2010 that you'd never done before?
-College
-Bought *my own* car
-Moved out of my dad's (even though it only lasted like a month)
-Turned into not-a-teenager!
-Gambled at the casino
-Wore a binder
-Probably lots more, I just don't remember

2. Did you keep your New Year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
No and no. I don't need the new year to have goals~

3. Did someone close to you give birth?
I'm going to have to ask your lazy ass to scroll up and read my previous answer.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No

5. What countries did you visit?
lol u funny

6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010?
A dick. (Wishful thinking, yo)

7. What dates from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
I'm not a good 'dates' person

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Scroll up and read somewhere up there

9. What was your biggest failure?
Quitting my job. (but it led to college, so. not that bad)
Also being a jackass to Julie. Sorry bb

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
My pool injury! Haha (a little cut i got playing pool). Nothing serious though

11. What was the best thing you bought?
Probably my car. It's been the most useful at least.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Julie - Graduating HS and joining college
My dad - Got a job
Amanda - Switched her degree into something she will actually enjoy
Steve - Got a job (though he doesn't have one now)
There's probably more, just don't remember

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Too many to list

14. Where did most of your money go?
Food

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
New MM members, getting lots of money in October 2010

16. What song will always remind you of 2010?
4minute - HUH (the song Amanda was playing when 2010 ended)

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or hardened? happier- i'm actually doing something for my future (college)
ii. thinner or fatter? feel thinner, but in reality, the same
iii. richer or poorer? probably poorer because i'm actually in debt now. lol

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Having actual fun and not wasting time (but most of the time that requires money)

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Arguing. And studying (turns out I didn't need it)

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
I never really celebrate Christmas

22. Did you fall in love in 2010?
You're like, 2 years late, survey

23. Any one-night stands?
Haha no

24. What was your favorite TV program?
The Office (again.)

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Nope

26. What was the best book you read?
Me, read books? u funnie

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Korean pop

28. What did you want and get?
Money lol

29. What did you want and not get?
flag in my arms hngggh

30. Favorite film of this year?
Saw too many to pick

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
20, went out to eat (already answered this too)

32. What kind of things would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
More money

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010?
Lazy (as usual)

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Koharu Kusumi, maybe. (you are missed from MM ;~;)

36. What political issues stirred you the most?
A bunch. Politics generally irritates me because people are stupid

37. Who do you miss?
Steve (actually seeing him rather than talking to him online)

38. Who was the best new person you met?
I don't meet new people rly

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010:
Sometimes you don't always know what you want, but everything will work out in the end

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
This was a triumph
I'm making a note here: HUGE SUCCESS
(lol)

another survey

Mon, 23 Nov 2009 11:00:00 -0600

Name: [REDACTED]
Straight/gay/bi? It’s complicated. I guess effectively gay, but technically pansexual.
Single? Nope, and I wouldn’t give her up for the world ♥
Birth date: 18 June 1990
Height? 5’2’‘
Eye colour: Green
Happy with it? Actually, I’d rather them be blue. I’ve always wanted blonde hair and blue eyes, but I can’t stand contacts so I can’t help that.
Pets? A gecko named Mitsuo
Piercings? My ears, if they’re even still pierced. They’re probably closed up~ I want to get my lip pierced as well, just haven’t gotten around to it.
Tattoos? Nope. Still considering whether I want one or not… Probably will be considering it for quite a few years. I’m not in a hurry to go ink my skin permanently.
Obsessions? Metallica, Hello!Project, facebook games/ragnarok/games in general, computer

What is the compliment you get most from people? That I have nice eyes, oddly enough. I remember someone once told me that I have “perfect” lips, as in they’re not too Angelina Jolie thick and they aren’t paper thin.
Can you sing? I’d like to think so.
Is there anything you fear or hate about yourself? There are a lot of things I know that I could improve upon, personality-wise. As for physically, I like myself pretty much fine.
What do you like the most about your body? My face.
And the least? Hm.. my weight, maybe? Even though I’ve come to terms with that a long time ago.

DO YOU?
- Smoke? Nope
- Do drugs? Nope
- Read the newspaper? No, just digg.com haha
- Pray? Nope
- Go to church? Nope
- Talk to people even though you hate them? I don’t “hate” people, so this is a fundamentally flawed question. But if I need to talk to someone I dislike, I won’t let my feelings come in the way. But if I don’t have to, then no
- Drive? I can, but I don’t
- Like to drive fast? Naw, I’m pretty much like an old lady
- Like your voice? Not really. I think I sound incredibly nerdy. It’s not as bad when I’m just talking, but when I hear a recording of myself it’s really noticable. Even my singing voice sounds weird to me.
- Hurt yourself? Nope

HAVE YOU EVER?

- Been out of the country? Once… I went to Canada when I was 7. That’s it. We don’t really have the funds to do stuff like that, and even if we did, my dad has a “why leave America?” attitude so I’d probably have to go with my grandma
- Had sex? Yes
- Been in love? Yes
- Had a surgery? Yup.. when I was three, I was rocking on a rocking chair in the garage. I rocked too far and fell back and split my head open.
- Ran away from home? Hmm… depends on the definition. One time, my dad got REALLY drunk and started punching stuff, so I ran away to Amanda’s that night, but that was the only time. (Last time he got drunk too)
- Been so drunk that you know you’re supposed to go out on a date with someone, but you can’t remember with who or when and that you faint when you look at yourself in the mirror in the morning, not to mention your breath? Uh… Just read the previous question’s answer and take a guess as to whether I can stand alcohol or not.
- Thought about suicide? Yes
- Talked on the phone all night? Yes. Actually I talk with Amanda on skype all night almost every day
- Slept together with the opposite sex without actually having sex? Yes, when I was little we used to go camping with Danny and Caleb.
- Killed someone? …
- Had sex with a stranger? No…
- Thought you’re going crazy? Sometimes I still do, haha
- Kissed the same sex? Nope
- Done anything sexual with the same sex? Not yet
- Stolen anything? Hm… a few times stand out to me. Once, when I was really little, I took a strategy guide for Diddy Kong Racing from the store (so it was probably 1997, so I was 7). I didn’t know that they cost money. Also, when I was 14 or something, I stole a can of cheese from the dollar store just to see if I could get away with it.
- Been on radio/TV? Nope
If I were a month I would be: Probably December. Start off as warm, but turn very cold near the end. Hahah.
If I were a day of the week I would be: Tuesday. I’m very boring and not really renowned for anything.
If I were a time of day I would be: 4am.
If I were a planet I would be: Pluto…oh wait
If I were a direction I would be: West
If I were a liquid I would be: Flavored water…
If I were a flower/plant I would be: Rose, insert cliche with thorns, etc.
If I were an animal I would be: A dog… dumb and loyal.
If I were a color I would be: Gray
If I were a fruit I would be: Strawberry
If I were an element I would be: Wind
If I were a food I would be: Beef jerky lols
If I were a place I would be: Alaska?
If I were a body part I would be: DICKS

So hot.

Tue, 25 Aug 2009 12:00:00 -0500

For some reason, it's so hot. I'm sweating horribly.

I watched a few animes today. I've always said anime is super homo so I've been trying to prove myself wrong. I began watching Seto no Hanayome and watched through all of Toki wo Kakeru Shoujo. The latter was pretty good but I was horribly disappointed in the ending... I hate it when that happens. That happened with Watchmen too-- the entire movie was awesome then it just shot itself in the foot at the end...

Also, I can't help but think everyone was mad at me today. Everyone I talked to seemed cold and I'm not sure why. I must have inadvertently done something wrong or more likely, it's all in my mind and nothing was wrong at all.

Oh well. I'm gonna go try to get some sleep because I feel sick.

subjectless

Fri, 14 Aug 2009 12:00:00 -0500

RIP Les Paul :(
He died at the age of 94... so old!

"So freedom is the point? Liberty. America's great and Belgium can eat our nuts. That's patriotism, right? /sarcasm" - Penn

I ♥ you, Penn & Teller. This was about an episode where someone was trying to say that the reason America was great is because it's ~free~ (as if every other country isn't free /s). I think what Penn was getting at is that other places are a lot more free than ours and I can't agree more. Everyone's so worried about political agenda and political correctness that it has come to the point where I don't think we're really necessarily 'free' anymore.

Also, they went around with a petition that said "America is #1 and the United Nations should recognize that" and "Her majestic landscape is more majestic than any other landscape, and the ideals and principles upon which she was founded are superior to all other ideals and principles." Also "amongst all nations in the world, America is clearly the best. Her people are better citizens than any other citizens." An number of people signed it. The ethnocentric-ism some people hold is really sickening. I don't think I ever really realized how... dumbly patriotic some people are? (Not even going into the lady who responded "Europe" to the question "What's the #2 country?")

However, they did say that a majority of people didn't sign and showed a bunch of clips of them showing why ("We're not number one in anything" and "I don't believe there's a superior country" for example). So there is still hope that the ones who signed were just a few (super-patriotic) idiots. I think that even a "few people" saying we're better is one too many, but I'm pleasantly surprised to hear that a majority of them weren't just talking out of their ass. Kind of proud, I guess. ♥

I'm not gonna lie, I'm proud to be from America and I doubt I could ever pretend like I was from Canada while abroad, even if it meant I'd have a slew of judging and misconceptions thrown at me. No matter where I go, even if I live most of my adult life elsewhere, I'm still going to feel like an American deep down. Nonetheless, I'm still glad I'll be out of here in a few years~

allow me to reintroduce myself.

Wed, 22 Jul 2009 12:00:00 -0500

I had a lot of people add me recently, so allow me to reintroduce myself. (I'm never good at writing these things... I'll try not to make it TL;DR)

As some of you may or may not know, my name is [REDACTED]. I have a million different internet handles (Kirk, hat, magneticdeath, asforoneday, Kohaku, etc) so feel free to call me whatever you want. I live in southwest Michigan, and was born and raised here. I just turned 19 on June 18th. I'm bisexual, but I would never date a male again so I guess that effectively makes me a lesbian. My family has always been in the lower class, money wise. My mother was on welfare the entire time my brother and I lived with her and both my parents dropped out of high school and are now general laborers.

Family-wise, my parents are divorced and have been so since I was 5. I lived with my mom, Grace, and her various boyfriends until I was 12. There was a big custody battle and I ended up with my dad, Jeff. I have been with my dad since 2002.

I quit school in 2007, at the beginning of my senior year. I've always had a 3.7 GPA, I was just going through some struggles at that time (and I'm a quitter, I admit it). However, I got my GED not long after.

I currently still live with my father and my brother, Steve. I don't have a job, but I've been looking. My dad is laid off but my brother has a job.

My girlfriend's name is Julie but I actually call her flag most of the time. My ultimate plan is to move to Belgium with her in a few years. Not sure how that's gonna happen yet, but yeah.

My life is basically Metallica at the moment. I listen to them all the time, watch videos, look at pictures, and generally obsess over them. Cliff Burton has inspired me to start learning the bass. I got a bass for my birthday and can already play a few songs on it.

I do listen to other artists though. Iron Maiden and Morning Musume/Hello!Project mostly.

I also play Guitar Hero/Rock Band almost religiously. I have been playing since April 2007. I have some videos up on youtube somewhere, but I'm a bit lazy to go looking, so if you're really interested in watching let me know.

I don't watch much TV/movies, but when I do, I prefer comedies. Lately I've been into the series "Penn & Teller's Bullshit", which debunks several scams. I think it's in its 7th season. It's an informative show that puts things in a funny manner (not to mention has lots of naked people just because it airs on Showtime).

Other interests include lolita clothing, webdesign, and graphic design.

I like debating too. I tend to lean on the liberal Democrat side of things politics-wise, though I try to examine each issue individually from both sides and come up with a solution (so I could be considered moderate). Also, I am an atheist.

Uh... That's all I can think of now. If anyone has any questions, feel free to leave a comment in this post or something. Haha.

Jab

Fri, 17 Jul 2009 12:00:00 -0500

a good friend of mine at jphip forums passed away yesterday because of an illness that he caught at anime expo.

it makes me wonder about how fragile life is. if he wouldn't have gone, would he still be alive to this day? was it worth it? i feel really sick now.

various shit

Sat, 02 May 2009 12:00:00 -0500

Okay, so I haven't had a chance to make an update for a few days.

...That's a lie, I've just been too lazy, really. I'm gonna do an entry about this week in a HIGHLIGHTZ 4 KIDZ version:

Metallica on Timewarp. It was okay, not really that great. The best part was probably Lars joking ("Are you seeing something you haven't noticed before?" "Yeah, my receding hairline") and James spitting all over the mic. Seeing Kirk's fingers go super slow ("I've never played that slow before!") and Robert desperately trying to blow out an amp and epically failing are a few more awesome parts about the show. I didn't like that they showed other shit though. What the shit does a dirt bike have to do with Metallica?
Been trying out new browsers because Firefox has become super slow. As I type this, my text lags. Of course. Anyway, the browser I've chosen is Flock. It's based from Firefox, so it still is a bit slow but not quite as slow. Also, I can use Ad-Block which is great! I wish Google Chrome had Ad-Block but it doesn't. Anyway, Flock has won me over. All its social features are great. Even as I'm writing this entry, I can see what all my friends are doing, which is awesome. I mean, what would I do without the immediate, left-hand sidebar style knowledge that my girlfriend was yawning 10 hours ago!?
Arguments ahoy this week. I don't know. Have I just been irritated? It's kind of stressing me out, though. People are pissing me off this week. But I've made up with every single one of the people I've argued with, so maybe everyone's just touchy. It's the spring weather, I tell ya. No one would pull this shit during winter. That's my home turf, after all.
Amanda and Josh broke up, and she's now talking to another guy. I'm happy about the former fact, but I don't know how to feel about the latter. The guy's name is Jason and he's pretty cool nonetheless. A lot cooler than Josh, not that it's a particularly difficult task, haha.
WEBSITE HOSTS, RAAAGE. I'm sure no one cares about them, but I'll make a TL;DR version: I've had to switch hosts like three times in one week. This is not an easy task. I've decided to get hosted with someone that I'm actually getting to know and like, this guy @ idiologic.com. His name is Ben, and he's pretty freakin' neat.
cock omelette

Microblogs - January 2009

Fri, 30 Jan 2009 11:00:00 -0600

2009-01-29 9:14 PM: googles it on the yahoo

2009-01-29 10:21 AM: goes to video store~

2009-01-28 4:54 PM: a new car~ (to me)

2009-01-26 6:27 PM: annoyed of "family"

2009-01-26 10:56 AM: new e-mail address~

2009-01-25 1:53 PM: just finished watching The Dark Knight DVD ✰

2009-01-25 10:05 AM: still cold and is going to go watch tv now.

2009-01-25 8:36 AM: cold. Warm me up ♪

2009-01-23 7:25 PM: NAKED DON'T LOOK

2009-01-21 4:05 PM: forgot this thing even existed WATTTT

Call of Duty 4 -- is it worth it

Tue, 08 Jan 2008 11:00:00 -0600

Is it worth it to climb all the way up to Level 55 and restart again just for a new freakin' 10x10 icon on a TV screen (making it look even smaller)?

I'm not really sure yet. I'll have to cross that road when I come to it-- all I know is, you can restart ten times. Yep, that's right-- TEN times. That's 550 levels. Holy shit.

arcade dream

Fri, 04 Jan 2008 11:00:00 -0600

I had a dream of an arcade.. we went in with my gramma and Steve and Amanda, though somehow other people came too.

There were a few different scenarios:

Skeeball: Amanda and Steve and I all played Skeeball. Mine was broken though and the ball would not fit through the plastic thing at the end and was actually SUBTRACTING points. I ended up getting like 5 tickets though.

Mortal Kombat: There was a TV hooked up and it said "Free". They were apparently running an emulator and rom and the person who worked there (who happened to be my cousin, John) said it was so his boss could see how everyone was playing. Steve tried to play and go through the menus but they were all in Italian. He changed it to English and eventually we played. I sucked as usual...

"Singstar?": It was called Singstar but it was really Karaoke Revolution + DDR. Amanda and I played, and I picked "Higher", the DDR song. I yelled at her for not doing the DDR parts (ignoring them completely) and just doing the singing.

Weird Guitar Hero Rip Off: There was a guy playing Guitar Hero Rip Off, and all the colors were in the wrong places so it was really difficult. He wanted me to try it, and I was passing all right but not very well. I exclaimed, "What is this! Lefty Flip!" but it wasn't.

During WGHRO: While I was playing GH Rip Off, Dale came behind me and hugged me and said that he loved me. It was.. a little random and weird, but I felt embarrassed cos my Gramma was there.

After all the games are done: Here's the sad part. For some reason my MOM was there, and she was like "how do you feel about me?" and I told her that I loved her and that she's my mom, and she told me that how she THINKS I feel about her is "I don't love her and don't ever want to talk to her again". Then I woke up..

It was weird.

2007 Survey [it was a big year.]

Sat, 29 Dec 2007 11:00:00 -0600

1. What did you do in 2007 that you'd never done before?
Drive around with only my brother!

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I didn't make any last year. I didn't think I needed to. This year, I think I may make "stop drinking pop"

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
I don't know how close they are, but all my cousins are getting pregnant. Literally every girl from my 2nd cousin's family has gotten pregnant this year.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No. Whew.. not sure about next year though..

5. What countries did you visit?
Pff I wish I could visit other countries.

6. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007?
Less procrastination!! I want to be able to drive and get a job..

7. What date from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
April 4, 2007-- the day I got my very own Xbox 360!

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Quitting school. (I know it's weird, but I've been wanting to forever.)

9. What was your biggest failure?
Procrastinating 6 months away.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Nope, thankfully.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
Xbox 360 by far.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
None...?

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? worried?
A lot of my friends'. Maybe I'm just pessimistic.

14. Where did most of ALL! your money go?
Xbox 360 + stuff.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Rock Band! Man I waited MONTHS for that thing.

16. What song will always remind you of 2007?
Epic by Faith no more

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? happier, generally (though I had super pissy moments)
ii. thinner or fatter? the same amazingly.
iii. richer or poorer? depends on what you mean. If you mean physical money and possessions, I'd say the same. If you mean rich with happiness and good events, I'd say richer

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Getting out of the house...

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Procrastination

20. How will you be spending did you spend Christmas?
...this question doesn't make sense.

22. Did you fall in love in 2007?
Yes

23. How many one-night stands?
0, I'm a virgin ~_~

24. What was your favourite TV programme?
I got into Days of Our Lives for 2 seconds.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Nope.

26. What was the best book you read?
I haven't read any. (Hey, don't get on me! I do all my learning online.)

27. What was your greatest musical (re)discovery?
Ayu, which I had abandoned really.

28. What did you want and get?
Xbox 360

29. What did you want and not get?
Ayu's new album.

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
There were a lot of good ones this year...

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I went out to eat and went shopping. I am 17. (Only one more year 'til the big one eight..)

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Be able to meet him physically.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007?
Same as every year-- do not care.

34. What kept you sane?
The people closest to me!

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Ayu, as every year.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Gay marriage. Had one too many debates about that this year.

37. Who did you miss?
Amanda! She moved.

38. Who was the best new person you met?
Dale..

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007:
Material possessions are shit. All you really need is love.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
.. I don't even know. D:

Such a long vacation.

Sun, 09 Dec 2007 11:00:00 -0600

This really has been a super long vacation. It has only been a few weeks but being away from my best friends and my boyfriend for a few weeks is more like torture than a vacation. I admit that part of the reason I left was because I needed a break from the daily grind but I guess absense makes the heart grow fonder and the daily grind is the daily grind because I like things like that. I'm starting to see that I don't like change very much.

However, there were a lot of fun parts of the vacation so I can't complain TOO much. When I first came, I brought Rock Band. Gramma and Zack (my 10 year old cousin) and myself all made a band together. We called ourselves the Viper Blood. Yeah, kind of dorky and stupid, but it was something that was automatically generated. Gramma played Drums on Easy. Zack was the singer on Easy. And I was the guitarist on Expert. We were a great band until I brought it downstairs because Gramma was bitching that Roger (her husband) wanted to watch TV on the weekend. Ironically, the cable broke and he couldn't watch it in the living room anyway-- making the trip up and down the stairs with the huge amount of accessories completely irrelevant and unnecessary. Tami and Pat came over and played (well Tami played, Pat woke me up from a dead sleep to have me set it up JUST so he could watch it). Then, the last thing that has to do with Rock Band: Steve came over this weekend and played. We were going to do Endless mode but we got 10 songs in and he started to fall asleep while playing the Bass so I just told him to forget about it and we'll do it some other time (sometime at my house, so he can get the achievements too!).

We went to the mall two times to go to the new arcade there called Slackers. It's really awesome. It has DDR: Extreme but I only played that a few times (there was a guy there that was really good the second time!). Because I was having er girl problems the second time, I couldn't really play too aggressively. And I got tired easily. Zack and I played Skeeball a lot the first time, and the second time with Steve, we played TONS of Deal or No Deal. The first time, with Zack, we only got 400 tickets all together but the second time, with Steve, we got 1003 tickets! We each got 333 tickets, and I feel like I got robbed because I got a big rubber ball but it broke a few minutes after I started playing with it. Oh well, it was funner playing the game than it was to actually get the toy. The highest Steve and I got was 250 tickets from Deal or No Deal. It was between 3 tickets and 400 tickets. We had the 400 in our case! I had the feeling that we did, but we didn't want to risk it... It was still really fun. Gramma thought about buying a TV while we were in the mall, but said that I "talked her out of it" because I told her not to go more into debt just for a big screen TV. I didn't mean to talk her out of it though-- I wanted to see her have a big screen TV! Oh well.

Steve bought the game Scene It! for $40 (poor guy, that's tons of money). We all played it together-- it was really, really fun. I was horrible at it because I don't know many movies. Steve was the best. We played teams the second time we played it, and Steve was on my team so naturally we won! Woo! I only knew a few questions but I really did know the questions that I knew.

We didn't have a whole lot of money so we couldn't go many places. I had a roast beef sandwich over 9000 times, but that's just because I like those. I got into Days of Our Lives, so I'm going to have to see if I can catch that on TV here or if it's only a Direct TV thing. I didn't get into Passions thankfully, because I know for a fact that's a Direct TV only thing.

The entire vacation wasn't all peaches and creams though. Roger (Gramma's husband) was being a serious pain in the ass! As in.. rude. He asked Steve and I, "When's the last time you've seen your gramma and grampa's grave? In the last four years?" and we said "never". How the hell are we supposed to get there? We don't even know where they're buried. I'm not a believer in visiting someone elses' grave. Since I believe that when a person dies, their soul is gone and they just rot in the ground, I don't see why I have to visit their grave. If they were good people, then their legacy will outlive them. And since they were family, they always have a place in my heart. But he didn't need to act pissy and like he's better than us because he visits his family's grave. I was really offended by that and Gramma tried to pretend like it was just because he was working long hours. Bullshit. He's a rude guy.

Zack was good most of the time we were there but he was rude some of the time. He was cussing and swearing and acting up when he heard Steve was coming over. He knew that I would give more attention to Steve than him because I don't get to see Steve often and he's easily tied for #1 place for my family in my heart (tied along with my dad). So of course I'm going to give him attention! He acted really rude to me most of the time when Steve was there but before that he was okay. That's part of the reason I was leaving-- he started acting rude and basically the only reason I was staying was so that he could have company. I was going to stay until the 16th but I was really hurting from missing Dale and my friends. 15th is going to be his birthday party, so I'll probably pop in for that but I'm not staying the weekend or anything. I might stay a few hours at most.

Another bad thing that happened was that Mom called. Gramma made me talk to her and she "just found out" that I quit school (though she didn't-- she was leaving bad messages on my answering machine before that, and later she admitted that she knew and it "just now hit her", yeah right). A lot of drama was caused because of that and I was going to go home however I decided to stay. Mom said that she was going to "come get me and make me realize I was wasting my life". What, like she did? She's a hypocrite.

That's basically all that happened... I think. All the important stuff, unless you count my gramma crapping her pants to be important! (It was funny but.. sick.)

Steve will probably come over at Christmas break. Looking forward to that! He's been really generous lately and I'm surprised. In a happy way. I'm not really looking forward to Christmas itself because it means nothing to me-- not like I'm getting presents or anything, and since I'm athiest it has no religious meaning. Haha.

TL;DR: Vacation was overall good, but I missed everyone!

PS: There was some really embarrassing mix up where I thought Amanda's online BFF Eric was a guy I used to know and be fairly close to, Luke. It ended up in a 3 hour conversation with him about Amanda and other stuff. Weird...

10 things that make me happy!

Fri, 16 Nov 2007 11:00:00 -0600

Rules: The rules are easy, just post 10 things that recently made you happy! Then tag 10 people and force them to post this meme on their LJs. Because it is good. Everyone needs a little happiness once in a while.

01] Dale♥ Whenever I talk to him, I am happier. He makes my life worth living♥
02] Morning Musume & Ayu.. well, music in general, I guess. If it's a happy song, I get happy!
03] Getting stuff for free!
04] Steve and Amanda♥ My brother and my best friend! They can both cheer me up when I'm feeling upset or down. Steve is brutally honest which I really appreciate and Amanda always makes me feel good about myself.
05] Making other people happy. I sub so that other people can understand things and enjoy the videos better. I try to do my best everyday to help other people out when I can, and when I see that they are truly happy because of it, it makes me happier than anything.
06] Watching Tyra and court TV! And comedies too ♥ I love learning stuff, and I also love people who are inspirational, and things that make me laugh. Whenever I laugh, I'm happy.
07] When I actually work for something and can buy it myself. When I worked for those 1600 Microsoft Points and didn't make dad pay $20 for me, I felt so liberated and like I really earned them! (And I didn't spend them so quickly knowing that too XDD)
08] Dancing and singing. Singing mostly, unfortunately because it makes me so happy, when someone criticizes me, I get really upset T___T
09] Rock Band which is coming out in FOUR DAYS #(Y*RY*#RHOSDGHDSGH I CANNOT WAIT! We're gonna line up before Best Buy opens and rush in there and get a copy! ♥
10] Simple pleasures such as rain pattering outside the window or calm music. It makes me happy and peaceful.

Um.. I'm glad I did this. Because a lot of people say I'm super moody and angry all the time and hard to please, I think this is a list that can be useful. XDD

google encourages stalking

Thu, 15 Nov 2007 11:00:00 -0600

By googling my phone number not only did I find my Dad's name, but I also found our address and a fuckin' map to where we live!

Good thing about apartments: it didn't show which apartment building we live in, so it would be impossible to actually track us down.

Anyway, I used gaminglagoon to get myself 1600 Microsoft Points. I can't believe it actually worked, haha... I bought Puzzle Fighter which is a pretty fun game, and kept 800 points in case a game comes out that I want to buy RIGHT away. <33

a

Sun, 11 Nov 2007 11:00:00 -0600

Since I haven't had most of these lately, I'm going to write a "real" entry which isn't just filler links or video or something. I don't have much to say though, so I'll just let a UL do it:

I'm making a big image of a whole bunch of "secrets" I have. I don't know if I'll just end up deleting it in the end, but it feels good. I already have tons and tons and tons of secrets written down!
Amanda moved. I miss her. T___T
I was supposed to go to my gramma's a few days ago but I accidently stayed up too late, and when she called she just decided that we should do it some other time.
Fansubbing is going great. Because I subbed Momusu's Mikan (here) only a day after it came on TV, it so far has around 1.6k views, and even got a few awards a few days ago. I'm pretty proud of that.
Because people have been seeing that fansub, I have gotten at least 3 requests for me to join people's groups.
ROCK BAND COMES IN 9 DAYS UYHR$*IHRHW*YVHJNDVJKNSDKNVSCKNjvn
New layout : t0xicrain

That is all.

I'm done with Video Games for awhile.

Mon, 15 Oct 2007 12:00:00 -0500

I'm going to finish playing the games I rented and then I'm going to be done with video games for awhile.

Why? Because everyone online is a fucking JACKASS. I mean, mostly everyone. There are a rare few who are actually nice (who I met tonight) but the stress of the other assholes overpowers any sort of nice people in any sort of sense. The people who are rude are just too many, the ratio is like 1000:1. Every 1000 people I meet, one of them will be nice and actually civil.
Because everyone knows, Anonymous + Audience = Complete Jackass. Tonight I have really figured out this equation more than I have ever known it before.

And for that matter, every time Dale leaves I'm just going to leave too. The only reason I stayed was because some guy who I *thought* was nice and ended up being a complete and utter JACKASS. It just goes to show, you cannot trust ANYONE. ANYONE. AT. ALL. The only people you can trust in this world are your family, your close friends, and people you have known for quite some time. That's ALL.

Anyone else will guaranteed, given a few hours time, turn into a complete jackass simply because they think that they've grown "closer" to you or are on first name basis.

That's another rant I have. Other people on Gears hear me called by [redacted] by Dale and a few other people, and completely RANDOM people (whom I don't know the name of) decide that it's okay to call me by my first name.

What bitch? I didn't realize knowing me for an hour or two constitutes first name basis. Call me by my username at least until I know your name, and it's rude to casually speak to someone with their name if you've heard it third hand. I did not introduce myself to you, bitch, therefore you should have no fucking RIGHT to call me by my name.

Whatever.

/rant

Documenting the lulz

Thu, 04 Oct 2007 12:00:00 -0500

This man has the nerve to call *ME* a fat loser.

I'm keeping this entry public so anyone who was or wasn't involved can read about it, and take the screenshots how they want to take them.

What happened was, fazeshot decided to post a thread regarding subbing Gyaruru's "Boom Boom Meccha Maccho" PV. However, he refused to bare in mind the following things:

Gyaruru is not H!P
The only lyrics that could be found were romaji
No one would probably be interested

Sure enough, there were only a few replies and no one was interested. Because we didn't want this to end up like jphip fansubs, SacredCultivator (the guy who runs Hello!Fansubs basically) made the decision that it would be best if that project was dropped.

Bare in mind fazeshot is the one who paid for the domain and supposedly started H!F (this should have nothing to do with it, but read on.)

Fazeshot goes basically apeshit with his first post (click here for a screenshot)

Seems like an elitist and stupid "rule" you have going there but sure w/e you lack interest in the project because it lacks "H!P fanboys rejoice here" stamp on it.. i understand... regardless of it being stamped with H!P or not its still in affiliation in my eyes but w/e I'm just the one who payed outta my pocket for the domain name and whatnot as well as sparked the interest in what is now H!F I have no say though none... I might as well just demote myself to Group: Noob, But Oh well thats how it's been since the beginning even when I was active. Honestly I just gave up because you always wanted to run the show so run it man I don't give a shit hence why I don't bother to go outta my way to help you guys with releases. You just pushed me outta the way and basically say "This is sacred's H!F" when I was the one who started the damn thing and was the one you talked to when we decided structure of the thing and you were assigned co-leader until you just totally tried to take over and make this yours... That's why I make no effort to help because I feel like u did nothing but shove me of my position which has always annoyed me and haku very much shit, when I was still active u denied haku a chance to help encode when he was one of the founding members BEFORE you!.

Oh yah and don't delete my post because i'm not in the mood to be "pushed aside" again.

So w/e call the shots big shot

(editor's note: this post was added in 10 minutes after the rest) Look sacred your a cool guy and all but i'm sorry I just had to tell my whole stance on the thing that I've thought for a while and kept under wraps for a long time.. yes I know u are the one who recruited a shitload of members and whatnot but still I should still have a majority say in things and not just be shrugged off as something less than a member

This was my pissed off response, which caused both SacredCultivator and I to be banned (click here for a screenshot)

[edit] Bare in mind this post was made before your little last line edit.

Sounds like a lot of pent up anger. Let me just say before I begin to write my response that I will always support SC and his decisions with H!F because he's definitely the one who does mostly everything around here. Now let me respond to each point.

The group is called HELLO!Fansubs if you haven't noticed. That tends to mean that everyone in here is interested in subbing Hello!Project. No one was even interested in the project and we understand that you'd like to suggest it but unless you're going to be doing most of the work yourself, you can't expect everyone to immediately want to jump on it just because you have "LOL POWERS" or "LOL AUTHORITY" or "LOL LEADER". This is a group effort and you don't really seem to realize that.

You paid out of your pocket? What, $20? We're very thankful and all but paying a couple bucks for a domain name and webhost does not give you supreme authority or rule, bud. I could just as easily have done the exact same thing for H!F and even offered to do so WITHOUT expecting anything like authority in return (or "This is awesome! You guys should totally bow to my will because, you know, I spent IN REAL LIFE MONIES"). You aren't doing ANYTHING with the domain and I've been doing most of the web maintenance. Bare in mind that it would be just as easy for us to buy another name and for me to set it up, because I'm sorry but I'm a hell of a lot more dedicated to web maintenance than you seem to be.

As for sparking the interest in H!F, 1) I don't really think there's a lot of "interest", no more than my own personal subs (only a few people have joined) and 2) if anything sparked any interest it's the releases themselves, not your "hard work" in "promoting" H!F.

What the fuck have you done around here? Timed once or twice? SacredCultivator has been putting so much of his free time and effort into making sure this doesn't end up dead like jphip fansubs. You don't give him ANY respect WHATSOEVER even though he tries his best to make this the best damn fansubs group out there. He always tries to be nice and make well informed decisions and you barge into this place as if you are some sort of fucking big shit because you happened to have a few extra bucks to dish out on an (unneeded) domain.

You don't bother to go out of your way because you DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT HELLO!FANSUBS. Starting it means nothing if you don't continue through with what you have started. I don't see you leading the pack or even attempting to, I don't see you doing research about what kind of projects to start up (this was a hopeless one to begin with because there were no lyrics anywhere and it wasn't even H!P), and I sure as hell don't see you donating the kind of (PRICELESS) time that SC does around here. You're rarely online according to him and only show up when you want something for you.

Lol, wanna know something funny? We don't need you, fazeshot.. because no matter under what name, there will always be translators, timers, encoders, and etc that will see through your falsity and create a new group with us. If we did create a new group, the only thing that would change is the name because you sure as hell haven't been doing anything around here.

Using your so called "leet owner powers" only makes you look like an asshole. I had no opinion of you before this post, but as I'm sure the other members can see, you truly are the definition of "inflated self importance".

This is SacredCultivator's response, still being nice for some reason (click here for a screenshot)

Nah I am not going to delete your post.. I am going to leave it and have other members comment upon it...

And I will be nice about this...

First off, YES you did start up the Idea of the Group, I will give you that. Yes you did pay for a domain or whatnot BUT you have to keep in mind about this... I was quite against it in the first place... As I didn't want ANY money invested into this Group which is why if I am not mistaken had a FREE forum which WORKED for us... No members had complaints about it... Take careful note.. After we made the move.. what happened? Bam members didn't even sign up (We have a few refusing to re-register on here, and I try to keep in touch with them via messenger)... No I am not saying it is necessarily your fault for this, as you were doing what is best for the group.. but again I warned and said 'moving' can lead to problems and provided JPHIP as the best example.. and even now we are trying to resurrect it...

Go out of your way... hmmm.. yes int he beginning you two were active... And for Encoding... yes Haku offered to help as Encoder, but I subbed in because I have already had experience and if I am not mistaken Haku pointed out that he was still learning... In the end I am Global Encoder and we have had no problems thus far, I mean Sukebei is Global Encoder as well for H264/ projects he solo's on... No I am not necessarily pushing you the Founder and Haku aside... You gave up far too early... As I will say, you didn't really comment upon projects that were brought up, only one is the Reina DVD, which we are still working on as I got a new translator to help work on it. After that Project, you fell silent... And I DID contact you MANY times and you just never responded.. and when you did.. you still put the work aside...

Ex.
-Asked you to become affiliates with another Forum (You said I'll let the webmaster know...) Emmm yeah.. still don't see that site on the FrontPage so I kindly asked Amber to do so and she did so immediately (On another Front Page though, as it seems there are some problems with ours that whens he updates it is all screwy, and she doesn't want to go through the trouble to mess with it){You can ask Amber about this as yeah she offered to help out updating the frontpage as you said you would but didn't really and I gave about a week}

Also... I really hate to bring this one out on ya, but since you took this to that level.. You and Haku wanted to start up H!A... And you two were quite into it.. but seems you had trouble getting members right? Yeah this is where i was gonna say how I brought in most of the Members into the group, but read your edit, so I respect that in you.

But yeah I honestly didn't mean to 'shove' you aside... But the intention of this group was Hello!Mornings right? Hence the Hello!Fansubs.. So I felt it would only make sense to do H!F related Media, it isn't an 'elitist' move.. it makes logical sense... And seeing as to how even though Tsunku is the only affiliation between H!P/Gyaruru, I still feel that it is it's own thing... I still respect you for bringing up such a magnificent idea even though it took a turn and did other things apart from H!M's but have to realize the Translators come and go and sometimes they have their mind set on other thigns than H!M's and I have to respect that as they are the Translator and as I have various experience with other groups (Anime doesn't count in this sense as I think they do things much differently than live drama's/ whatnot) so I sort of have an understanding as to how crucial Translators are to groups so I give them as much 'lax' time as possible so they are not pressured in anyway.. Although I do feel sad that I pressured poor aimaime into doing Reina's DVD at a higher priority than his other project >< (Sorries aimaime).

And because of this I don't want you to just completely obliterate this forums or whatnot... So hope we can get in good terms in one way or another... As you know I don't mean to be all 'self-ish' or whatnot, but if I am a 'role-model' for others, and things aren't looking so great, I have to step up and put things in order, so I hope you can understand and respect where i am coming at.

My response and then SacredCultivator's response (keep in mind a lot of stuff has been going on in AIM like fazeshot calling me slut and bitch, which I am not pasting here due to SC's privacy) (click here for a screenshot)

i'm leaving
i don't enjoy being under the "rule" of someone like that
enjoy your aids, fazeshot, you immature fuck (banning SC and I? calling me names to SC over AIM? haha what is this, first grade?)

SacredCultivator's response

Mehs... Amber.... =`( bleh... you know how I feel about this so yeah... arge... so sorries about things... I should've figured something so great takes a fall when it climaxes... I'll miss you... although I'll still be working with ya over at jphip.. but still... things definitely won't be the same and I already told you the reason haha... Mehs..

@faze: Dont' get angry from Ambers comment.. as I told you I respect her that she is blunt the way she is... As it allows one to repair things just like how she came up to me about one of our members and their choice of colors to use, I took care of it instantly and things were solved... Again I really hope you understand the conversation we had via AIM....

Fazeshot showing his maturity, bare in mind I was never "DDoS"ed at all, and later he calls me a "geek" for having protection against it (click here for a screenshot)

You guys are cliquey sp? don't let me intrude on your little "in" crowd lol it seems like u guys are the ones on power trips seeing as U all think what u say goes and thats that.

P.S. amber enjoy the DDOS attacks you pissed off my webmaster so yah... have fun having random ping spikes for a while.. nothing I can do to stop him from that.

SacredCultivator's response (click here for a screenshot)

@faze: Emm we are close as we work together in another group + co-op projects... So yeah... which is why I am able to get along with her.. cause if you can't get along with her.. you are sort of screwed, as you can see from her message...

@Other Staff: Blah.. have fun reading what just erupted... Sorries, my fault for not realizing and confronting faze to sort things out before they got up to the climax...

Fazeshot once again showing his maturity

Oh she impresses me so much believe me actually she sounds like a geek bitch that needs some dickin'

Then he calls me a hypocrite for calling him a dumbfuck (which is not a name so much as it is the truth), and bans me from the forum (click here for a screenshot). My response to this is (click here for a screenshot)

that's okay, 'cause you know, banning me always gets rid of your problem and the counterargument.
at least i say this stuff to your FACE, not behind your back to SacredCultivator.
grow some balls, will you.

Then SacredCultivator makes the extremely mature and wise decision (with encouragement from Sukebei) to move back to the other forums and cut all ties with fazeshot and haku (click here for a screenshot)

Dear Staff,

In regards to the recent event that has occurred, Read Here, I along with a few other members feel it best if we just revert back to the Old Forums which is located Here.

I must apologize in advance for this Constant Moving back/forth... But it didn't occur to me that such an event would take place... So I think it best if we return to the old forums where we were accustomed to.

Although faze had great intentions for the Group in moving, it seemed that move hindered our group a little... And in the case of the recent event a dear member of ours has departed >< and she was quite an essential member to use, agrayrainbow shall be missed =`(

So what does this Move back mean? As some of you might not have realized, fazeshot/haku have been the Original Founders of what is now H!F. But due to how things went they both sort of were 'shielded-off' {I can't be held responsible for that due to the fat I am not a mind reader, so I don't know what is going on unless I am confronted, as in the case with agrayrinbow/gto, which was sorted out immediately when I heard word of it} Apart from that faze/haku took their 'leave' and when trying to contact faze for assistance, he acknowledges it but doesn't do so... It is his way of 'payback, ignoring'... I will not be cruel and post up our conversation we had via AIM, as I am sure you can all get the gist of things from the Thread I referred to in the beginning... The log between faze and I was only shared to 2 close Staff Members that I wanted to get their honest opinion as to what I should do. As those 1 was with me since the start and the other was slightly new but I trust that person.

In the end I feel it is best to go back to the 'past' but this time... Sadly.. I will have to relinquish both faze/haku from the group, as I don't want faze shedding $20 a month for the Server we are using when it wasn't necessary, and don't want them to feel like I am not acknowledging them as they won't be part of H!F anymore so they don't have that strain on them...

PS:
For those that are like WTF and all after the thread referred, and feel you might need to read the Conversation we had, do PM/email/IM me and I will show you...

So in light of these events I understand if the moving is a hassle and if you'd like to continue helping us our at H!F do make the switch on back, and if you just can't handle the mess and feel it best to leave I fully understand and thank you for your assistance in H!F.

I will now be active over at the Old Forums, so any Posts in regards to Projects can be made There, and any replies outside of Projects can still be made here if wanted. As i have already transferred most of which I think is now up-to-date at the old forums.

For the new Members that joined exclusively to this site, please Register at the forums I linked to and I will have you upped to Staff. {I will Email you as well}
Members:
TheProteosAgna
aimaime

LOL UPDATE 1
Fazeshot continues the bullshit, screenshot here

First of the only thing I said to sacred was you act like a fool and a dumbass when I was explaining to him something else. Trust me I would have no problem "saying stuff to your face" its the internet you dumb cunt I know you mistake it for real life because your such a fuckin fat geeky loserbitch but its okay like I said you'll get cock someday.. Until then choke on your own vomit.

Anyway off to study because you know.. some of us people that exist outside the internet have something called a life and don't spend 99% of their time staring at a blank forum and making little pretty Fansubs. GJ you can make karaoke! *clap* wheres that gonna get you in life

OMG I FOUND A PICTURE OF AMBER! Click

I think SacredCultivator is annoyed of this too (screenshot here)

@Faze: Emmm just gonna make my point..

'hypocrite' called Amber one and... you just showed hypocrisies by saying 'GJ you can make karaoke! *clap* wheres that gonna get you in life' ehhh then wtf you arguing about being 'left-out'?

We all have a life... Without it.. you'd be dead.. come on common sense tells you that... Right? It just depends on how BUSY one's life is... And Being BUSY with Fansubbing is still a Life...

I don't know why you make things worse...

Ignore my own hypocrisies here but it is to just make my point as you don't realize it..

Okay.. as you said, 'Anyway off to study because you know.. some of us people that exist outside the internet have something called a life and don't spend 99% of their time staring at a blank forum and making little pretty Fansubs.'
Really? Then why did you shed the extra minutes of your 'life' finding Ambers picture?
Blank forum.. get real... In the beginning I already KNEW our forums wouldn't be active in terms of the Public, we use the forums to discuss projects not for the Public per say, although that is a plus.

And to end it all... Requoting you, 'GJ you can make karaoke! *clap* wheres that gonna get you in life', then why the f' did you create H!F? Please... just because you are out of H!F now.. you show this side of yourself to make yourself look that much worse... And ouch.. How dare you say that about Fansubbing, alright now go to some well known Groups that sub and say that to them... I can just about Guarantee you that most of those Fansubbers have a much busier life than yours and still get by with fansubbing.

Heck again... If you have such a 'great/busy life' outside of the internet.. why do you bother Replying back?

One can go on and on about this and in the end no matter which way anyone sees it... In terms of argument... you have lost...
^You can argue back and forth, but heck as the Members see it, you really lost....

As sad as I am to say all this... ouch... Just ouch at what you made of this...

EDIT:
Deleted her.. oh nice... can't handle her arguing with you huh? Ouch yet again ><

Deciding not to fuel the flame, though he's a lulzcow it's getting old and he's running out of lulz saying the same thing over and over again (screenshot here)

I already have a boyfriend, love. Googling "geeky fat girl" won't find my picture, btw. ;D

"your such a fuckin fat geeky loserbitch but its okay like I said you'll get cock someday.. Until then choke on your own vomit."

Keep making yourself look like a fool, I'll just keep screenshotting all of your dumbass posts.

My original post obviously hit way too close to home for you, so you, like the script kiddie you are, upon finding out that you couldn't "leet hax" me, you fell back to trolling. Horrible trolling at that, trolling is supposed to inspire hatred and anger in your subject, and it just inspires my pity for you. I really do feel sorry for you, Internet Tough Guy, but until you close down these forums I will continue to respond to you in a mature way-- something you obviously are incapable of.

Also, deleting me is not going to work... closing your ears and singing "LA LA LA" and looking the other way isn't exactly the mature way to handle things either.

And this is relevant so I figured I'd throw it at the end: an empty threat (nothing has happened) by Fazeshot through PM (click here for a screenshot)

Hey cunt touch the forums again and me and the webmaster can ddos ur net into submission

LOL MICROSOFT SUCKS

Mon, 10 Sep 2007 12:00:00 -0500

After the update there are currently 3 unresolved issues:

Voice Chat
Matchmaking
NAT Type Detection- what was set to Open is now set to Moderate or Strict and can't be manually changed. Problems: Can't join friends online. Can't chat with friends online. May not show friends online but they are.

The team is aware of these issues and is currently working on them. They have no timeframe except ASAP!
The suggestion is too not change any port information, nor to change router settings, etc. (Do not change anything to your current setup.)

This was posted on Major Nelsons Blog: A small number of people are having issues with incorrect NAT type detection. The team is aware and working hard to resolve it as quickly as possible.

HB

Yes, that's exactly why I paid for live! To have them screw me over when I want to play! Thanks, Microsoft! Yet another fucking lovely product from a fucking lovely company!

"What is your favorite room in your home and why?"

Fri, 10 Aug 2007 12:00:00 -0500

Writing Prompt #3: What is your favorite room in your home and why?

My favorite room is the living room! Not only because I have a lot of funny memories in here, but also because it's where I spend 97% of my time (1% in my bedroom to sleep, 1% in the bathroom, 1% in the kitchen). It has my TV, my computer, and the bigger TV. It's close to the kitchen and close to the bathroom. I only use the bedroom to sleep, as to try to avoid insomnia (I read it in an insomnia book somewhere: don't use your bed for anything but sleep or sex).

Short one today, but that's because I'm too busy playing games with Matt, haha.

Annoyances + Thankfulness

Wed, 25 Jul 2007 12:00:00 -0500

Annoyance #1: Dad awakens. Tells me he has to make a doctor's appointment for me, "just to check up". I am up in arms about the idea, screaming in a doctorphobia that there's "nothing wrong with me and I don't need a checkup". I tell him it's a waste of time and money, and he says it doesn't cost anything. I then complain that I'm afraid of the doctor and there's no reason to put me through something I loathe for no apparent reason. He understands.
Annoyance #2: Get on Computer, get on Skype to realize Dale has been on for awhile and he's just been playing Maple so he wasn't on AIM. That annoyed me because I wouldn't've gone and played Gears if I would've known he was online but it doesn't matter anyway because he went to go play Maple when I was online.
Annoyance #3: Finished a kickass graphic only to realize it doesn't work with my journal. Only have small despair because I didn't feel like color coding the CSS anyway. I'll try to find a layout that works with it later...
Annoyance #4: Another subbing group subbed Onna ni Sachi Are without karaoke within a day. This makes me mad because 1) they normally sub ANIME, 2) they suddenly decided they want to sub PVs, 3) they're taking away people that would normally download our releases. But whatevs. It's a really good song.. so whoever wants to sub it can. And may the best subbing group win.
Annoyance #5: If you know me at all, from 12+yrs I lived with my dad. That means, I went through puberty and such when I was with him. I never learned ANYTHING from him. I had to learn everything myself, including shaving my legs. Without saying much I guess everyone will know I'm pretty pisspoor at it. I did an especially horrid time tonight.
Annoyance #6: At first, Steve tried to say they can "only take Danny and me, or just me, not all three of us". For some reason, Tim changed his mind at the last minute. I know that will mean less going out to eat and shopping and stuff but I don't really care: it was fucked up that they wanted to take Danny and not Caleb, and I felt really really really sorry for him. I was so ecstatic when they said they'd take Caleb too.

Thankfulness #1: Video-thief-person's video taken from youtube! Then again, so was mine because AVEX are nazis, and I don't really feel like losing 300 favorites again so I'm trying not to hit "strike three".
Thankfulness #2: . It's such an interesting community and fun to read. It's like the best-of-craigslist only it's updated frequently every day.
Thankfulness #3: Japanese message boards which translate things. 'Cept for the fact that someone insulted me there.. o__o People are weird.
Thankfulness #4: Matt and Amanda who continue to be really good friends, Dale who continues to be a great boyfriend. I want to thank them so much for that.
Thankfulness #5: Onna ni Sachi Are is a great single, reaffirming my faith in the religion that is Tsunkuism. *prays* If he keeps putting out great singles I might have to buy one one of these days!
Thankfulness #6: Mostly everything is going great in my life right now..

I have nothing *truly* to complain about. And for that, I am blessed (by whom, I wonder, considering I'm an atheist?.. maybe Tsunku).

my friends that you should stalk/watch on deviantart

Sun, 08 May 2005 12:00:00 -0500

Ethan/bloodfromst0ne: If you don't look at his work I'll bite your face off!
eshva: is relatively unknown, which isn't fair because she draws really well
nitachan: pretty boys everywhere
rei_0: rei is just too awesome for words, aren't'cha rei.
thundercake: Li and I have been friends for a few years and she has a really great style that makes anime look easy ^_^
iamfun: i'm not really sure who this is, but they definitely deserve more hits ;;
ola-s: This person is gonna be famous! Watch'm whil you can~

more added later, k?

Resident Evil: Apocalypse

Sat, 18 Sep 2004 12:00:00 -0500

It was such a good movie.. ^^; Jill Valentine was so much like the one from the game! Going back and playing Resident Evil: Director's Cut showed me just how cheesy of a game it was, though. It had such bad actors! It was funny sort of.. but Resident Evil had good actors.