don't trust ISPs

when I first moved into this place a few years back, vyve broadband offered a fairly affordable package deal which included an eero and a few hubs for a mesh system. it was good enough then, so I went for it.

I never got the speeds I was advertised and paying for even downloading (1gig, it’s cable so upload sucks I know) but shrugged because it was good enough. I got about 400mbps

as the years went on, the intro credits started to fall off and my bill kept going up and up. once again I shrugged it off.

but one day a few months back, I tried to log onto a private, highly well-regulated torrent tracker. my modem told me it was “protecting me from potential hackers.” this was a music tracker. what, were they storing their backs in their FLAC files on a private/exclusive community?

I went into my eero to figure out where to turn off the nannyware. the option was GRAYED OUT. ON AN ISP LEVEL. got so mad I drove to best buy that day and bought $400 worth of prosumer networking shit that has openWRT and the like. I did the annoying work of hard wiring the few places that needed a very stable connection but put the rest on wifi. then I took back the eeros to vyve the next day.

without telling me, vyve didn’t remove the eeros from my account. I had to contact customer support and ask why. they told me because my bill was still technically cheaper with the bundle. except that in the next month, conveniently, the bundle promo ran out and my bill would be sticker price. I had to literally argue with customer support to tell them to remove the damn equipment from my account and let me just pay the normal price for the internet, which would be far cheaper than the internet+equipment bundle next month.

oh and btw, once I switched out my equipment I actually get 1.5-2gbps download speeds. they probably overprovision to try and help with their equipment being garbage.

and this is why I hate ISPs

still here

yes, we are still here. it’s just that it has been way too busy and exhausted to update here unfortunately. we have been doing TMS full time for six weeks starting in september, and then we started spravato which has been life changing. it really has helped our depression so much. like, pretty much in remission at this point.

with coming into the new year, there’s going to be quite a lot that we have to do. we are finally down to once a week on spravato, but they are changing our insurance, so we need to figure that out. there is a place that is slightly closer than the 200mi/3 hour round trip for the other place that both us and elias are going to right now. but still, it’s been exhausting have to drive to and from dallas every day for months now. it’s just… too much honestly. so, will be glad to be moving to somewhere closer, and only doing it once a week.

still, everything is so tiring…

Transcribed 2025-05-08

Fairly uneventful day. i am truly grateful for such days, now that i don’t have many of them happening.

as always, i am stricken by how much i love you. even being around you makes me happy.

i hope we can continue to make you happy too. ♥

Transcribed 2024-05-29

Of course I am upset about work, but i am going to do my best to not show it. it’s a waste of time to make every one else upset about it.