needing.space

People are really starting to piss me off. I mean my "friends". I don't want to write anything here because I'm afraid one of the people that pissed me off the most will read it, so I will just say that they were pissing me off, seriously.

At least I have my boyfriend.

i couldn't type because there was someone looking over my shoulder. -___- since i've proved blogging in class is OK to the teacher i don't have to play the minimize game.

i'll update later. i just wanted you to know i am alive.

On DC++ it takes HOURS to get a slot to download from someone. I had a slot from a really popular person, which took me about 6 or 7 hours to get, and my brother RESTARTS THE COMPUTER and I lose the slot. I fucking have the urge to hide his memory card for 6 hours, then maybe he'll know how it feels. I'm glad he left or I'm sure I would've went off of him, the fucker.

First Hour - It's a friday which makes me happy. I had a dream about amanda sending me a ffx yuna wallpaper.. O_o; I have a test in this social studies geography history whatever the fuck this class is, in spanish, and that 'advanced' pack for computers. I'm so gonna fail this test.

Second Hour - I failed the eyetest that they pulled us out of class for. Wee.

Fourth Hour - Geometry was FUN!? Wtf? We did jeapordy.. that's spelled wrong. But I was really good at certain types of questions.. so like. Yeah. Time to fail this science class thing test! (How many tests have I failed today? 1st hr, eye test, 2nd hour, this hour.. no more tests after this, though).

Later fourth hour - Volk marked me down for 'writing' on his test. As if I wasn't already going to fail. I will now make it my life's goal to 'write' on all his tests. The ass. He was like, "I take points off for people who write on my tests", and I said "like i care." Cause it's true-- a failing grade is a failing grade.

Fifth hour - I'm doing misc things like checking old emails and stuff and deleting unneeded things off of RE. There's a sub in this class and she seems like a REAL bitch. I'm gonna update my blog or something.

Sixth hour - Wow, we're watching Michael Jackson videos since there's a pep rally at the end of the day. This guy cracks me up. I keep thinking of funny things to write and then I keep forgetting about them. Fuck. Well. Time for pep rally.

Dad said we might be able to get Mario 64 when we get home so all I have to do is deal with 6th hour pep rally. Woot! More to write later.

Why the HELL am I up at 5 AM on a Monday writing a story with Amanda?

I thought it was time for a bitchy entry. So here goes.

I had a weird dream about sex with Bates and zombies. Care to read more?

Raagh. It was a good dream at first. We were at my gramma's house (wtf?) and out in the garage, going at each other, but I kept being interrupted by my mother or grandmother calling me into the house to put on my jacket. Which was odd, because I didn't have any clothes on, and they wanted me to put a JACKET on? Oh well.

That part of the dream ended, and I woke up about 9:00 AM, thinking it was 9:00 PM and looking out the window, thankfully it was only AM. Then I went back to sleep and had the zombie dream.

Some of the characters from Resident Evil were in the dream, kept in a house by a crazy person that sent zombies for them. There was a lot of romance between Claire Redfield and.. another boy in blue from the games, I just couldn't remember who he was. So when zombies interfered, I didn't mind.. but it was so sad. The rest of them had to sit on a tall bed and watch the boy shoot the zombies, and he made it through all the zombies. They then were about to be allowed to be let out, but this has happened many times in my dream: the crazy guy locks them in the house instead. I yelled out "run for the door!" and we/they did, only to come to a crossroad: go up the stairs or go down? The logical thing would be to go down to where the exit was, but we didn't, we went up and there were more zombies. We broke the window and jumped out, we all survived except there were zombies down on the streets. There was no way we could win, so I shouted out "Quick, push "Start" and "Restart mission"! And then one of them whined, "But then we'll have to see ourselves be eaten!" so I said "Then quick, turn off the playstation!" and no one did and we all got eaten.

The end. =x Scary dream that was, though.. And I ended up waking up at about 10:00 AM. So the dream only took an hour. XD

I just proved that Amanda doesn't REALLY like j-rock/visual kei. I showed her the "jealous" video for Dir en Grey which is almost 7 minutes long and she sat through 2 minutes and then got so bored (or disgusted) and left. So that's what she gets for getting into an obsession without thinking.

Our night has been fun so far, though... 

She came over when dad wasn't home, but I already got permission from him. It started out really fun-- we hadn't seen each other in a couple of weeks so we had missed each other. The fun wore off about an hour in or so . . Shrug. We DID play the personality profiler thing I have. It was fun to see our "personality profiles". But now she's playing Spiderman 2 without a memory card, what a waste of time. =__=;

Other than that, I made a subpage on my domain just to link to this blog. How nice am I? Click. It's just an enter page to this one, but whatever. XD

Raah. My mom called and was like "I don't want anything to do with you or your kids", so WTF? Well, I disown her as my mother, then. Fucker.

Well, writing from school again. Not much else to do.. just got finished with my assignment. Trying not to get seen by the teacher, I guess, he's pretty cool he wouldn't mind. I guess I'll write more later, I just needed something to do.. o_O

It was such a good movie.. ^^; Jill Valentine was so much like the one from the game! Going back and playing Resident Evil: Director's Cut showed me just how cheesy of a game it was, though. It had such bad actors! It was funny sort of.. but Resident Evil had good actors.

I'm prollly moving to mah crazylife 'cas christine and nIk~nIk are dere... and they let you use stylez!
THEY'RE WAY BETTER THAN LIVEJOURNAL!
runs

"Techno would keep me up all night and day cleaning." ~Allison

Yesterday evening steve's condition was so bad that he had to go to the hospital. We stayed there for so long that was too tired for school and dad didn't care.
Because he was at work when we took Steve to the hospital. His girlfriend (Allison, who we might be moving in with) brought us there. Us as in her 6 year old child Mikayla and Steve. Mikayla's the kewlest 6 year old lil girl I've ever seen!
WHoO HoO.
XP

Oh and P.S.~ I got a CrazyLife! I won't be using it (only to comment) but if you wanna check it out you can!

Coming to school after a 4 day vacation was amazing. Everyone was surprised to see me.

"Knowledge is like baths. Only comes once a year." -Steve imitating Chris. That was funny. Since my dad brings Josh back and forth to school we were all laughing about it. He also said "Same shirt, different day".

I was tired today.

Well everyone loved the FFX-2 pictures. They took them and now they want more xD

Well I'll write more later (when I think of it!)

Next update I'll install the kewlerific icon ~ it's going to be my default. It has Paine on it.

See yahz

Guess who's back!? ME!

I've decided that since I have four online journals, I'd make this one kind of like a school one which would tell about homework, projects, school functions/events, etc. Sounds good to me at least.

So, I had today off since it is Veteran's Day. I should be doing homework now instead of posting in this but I'll just do the homework later.

Tomorrow in Homebase we get report cards. I'm kind of nervous about the Earth Science and World History grades since those were the low ones (C/D) on my Progress Report.

I have to write a three page essay and type it tonight for English. I also have a science test to study for and a Latin translation thing. I should probably do my math homework to and study for my Latin and Math test so that tomorrow night I'll be able to play RE0 without having to worry about homework.

You guys! Don't hoard me with comments about why M left! She went to greymatter, another journal service. It is said in another one of her journal entries O_o, pay more attention instead of trying to comment so much....

Alright?

my dads bein mean.. he said he might get aol cut off..
._.
so if I don't write for a week, you know I've been shut off..
God, life sucks, and so does my dad.
He has me crying almost every night from the things he says..
;_;
So this might be my last entry.

Time: 12:00 pm.
gah.. i'm in a rp.. its overcrouded with newbies! HELP! BEING .. OVERFLOWED!!!!

Time: 8:50 am.
Friends list cleaning. People that have been taken off my friends list because of lack of interest (or they just never comment). Look at my userinfo to see if you've been taken off, and if you comment here saying you want to be back on, then you need to comment more!

Time: 10:32 pm.
This isn't fair. I'm happy for the Nicest Person In The World, Yuna, but it isn't fair that she has a paid account.
I'm steamed.
I've been wanting a paid account forever now!

Time: 9:52 pm.
Okay, time to YELL AND SCREAM!
If you don't like swearing, don't read on.
GRR! When it was my birthday, I got .. about 5 comments wishing me happy birthday. My mother didn't even come to see me on my birthday! And Yuna gets a million and one comments on her lj! And even a present! You know how bad I felt when my mother didn't visit me on my birthday? You know how even worse I felt when I didn't get barely any recognition!! yer_own_names doesn't barely recognise me either.
I always do things around my house and no one ever gives me anything.
WHY?
I've been through so0 much shit in my life you people don't even know! By the time I was 12, my parents had devorced, I had to go to Child Protective Services, and I had to testify in court!
How does THAT sound? Hmm? I'm not all peaches and cream like I look and sound!
This isn't fair! But I know at least one person is going to comment : "Hun, life isn't fair." You know what? To that person who comments that: FUCK OFF!
You know what? To the world: FUCK OFF!
To my mom: FUCK OFF!
To the people who can't recognise: FUCK OFF!
Everyone whos been through shit in their lives would know where I'm coming from. I used to cry and cry myself to sleep every night! How do you think I felt when my mom got arrested on my brothers birthday? How do you think I felt livin in the heights! Those damned people poisoned our dog and killed him!
My moms boyfriend (now husband) is really REALLY abusive! But lucky I'm living at my dads. But it doesn't matter, I fight with my dad too!
Why can't anyone understand where I'm coming from? It makes me super depressed.
I'm not going to kill myself.
I can live on.
I always go through this shit.
I am strong.
But am I strong enough to live through this? Should I see counsiling? I've already had to see counsiling because of my mom. Whats up with that? My moms a drunk, and so is her husband. Whats up with that? My dad still has child support coming out of his check going to my mom when my moms not supporting us: he is. Whats up with that?
The world can be incredibaly cruel! Whats up with that?
I feel like crawling in bed. ._.
I've already given myself a headache.
And another thing: we're very poor! My dad keeps saying "As soon as we start getting money..." but I know thats NEVER going to happen! We will always be poor!
I'll probably die from lack of food!
So whats up with that?
.....Why? Theres so much I want to say.. yet lack the words to say it.
And another thing: I haven't even had a crush or boyfriend! And I'm 12! I must be a weirdo or something!
I know I'm a weirdo.
......
What about my moms boyfriend with his 9mm and his crowbar? What about him beating up my mom and I?
What about me going to 14 different schools?
What about me moving 10 times?
What about me always losing my friends when I move?
What about me, always alone because of my life?
What about me, the loner, the weird girl no one wants to talk to?
What about all the people that have suffered?
What about those rich snobs who think they're all that?
What about those people who can get whatever they want, whenever they want?
What about all of those lies that my mom told me to shut me up?
What about my car? Wheres my brand new car that I was promised?
What about that $100 a week my dads paying to my mom for "supporting us", when he is?
What about the FUCKING people who think they've got it bad, when they've really got it easy?
Where's my "happy birthday!"?
Where the fuck did my "happy birthday!" go?!
WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKIN BIRTHDAY PARTY THAT I NEVER GOT?!
What about my brother and I sitting in that child protective area, waiting for our gramma to come?
What about all those tears I cried when my mom said I got her arrested?
What about me being beat?
What about it all?
What about the mom that I never had.. the mom that wasn't there..?

Time: 7:55 pm.
Bored. Another layout change.

Time: 10:29 pm.
Amandas sister, Shelly, came home.
I don't know what to say about this.

Time: 10:26 pm.
Downloading KaZaA.

< edit >
Not anymore.
< / edit >

Time: 10:03 pm.
gah my computer lykes laggin......

Time: 9:38 pm.
Gah, furcadia is confuzleing

Time: 7:59 pm.
bored n stuff..hoping this'll post

Subject: Go say happy birthday.
Time: 4:47 pm.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY YUNA!!!!!!! GO SAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO HER! GO NOW! I'M FORCING YOU!
GAHHH! WHY HAVEN'T YOU WENT YET?! DON'T YOU CARE?
happy birthday yuna!!!!!!! go say happy birthday to her! go now! i'm forcing you! gahhh! why haven't you went yet?! don't you care?!

< edit >
new layout. i know its a bit soon bUt.. oh well...
my props go to yer_own_names. okie.

bai.